Guilty
by Icebaerchen
Summary: After completing the task of preparing Camp Jupiter for the upcoming attack, Leo savely returns to the waystation. But now he has to deal with the loss of a close person. And there is still something else bothering him. Set after the Burning Maze, CONTAINS SPOILERS!


**Disclaimer: I do not own neither the original story nor the characters.**

 **I appreciate any kind of feedback! Don't be shy to point out spelling or grammar mistakes, since I partly write these stories to improve my English :)**

 **Guilty**

„Damn it! ", these words were followed by a metallic noise as a half-finished construction made of celestial bronze crashed into the wall opposite from its creator. Said person was a scrawny Latino boy with dark curly hair and pointy ears. His face and arms were covered in machine oil and iron dust while the overall he was wearing showed signs of burning marks.

Leo Valdez was frustrated. So, he tried to manage his frustration with the usual behaviour: avoid other people, search for something mechanic to work on and occasionally hit or throw something. It has been four days since he returned to the waystation. Seven days since he warned Camp Jupiter of the upcoming attack and helped them deal with it. Six days since he lost his best friend, Jason Grace.

When he gave his other close friend, Piper, a ride on his bronze dragon to her new home in Oklahoma, they talked a lot about what happened. It helped to share their grief. The time he spend alone during the rest of his journey back to Indiana gave him the chance to clear his mind enough to face the owners of the waystation, Jo, Emmie and their adoptive daughter Georgina, as well as his girlfriend, Calypso, with a hint of his usual impish smile.

They still picked up quickly on the fact that something went horribly wrong on his quest. So Leo told them about everything that happened during the last few days. When he talked about Jason, they met the tears in the corner of his eyes as well as his hoarse voice with consolation and the want to comfort him. But instead of openly showing his sadness and anger he hid his feelings behind bad jokes and hyperactive energy. Only when he was alone like this, surrounded by the quiet comfort of machinery, he allowed himself to take this mask off.

For him, it wasn't just about Jason's death itself. There was a thought that kept nagging him ever since and it made him feel the same way as he had felt when his mother died: guilty. Leo sat down on the floor, leaning against one of the cabinets and buried his face in his hands.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice another person entering the room until she sat down right beside him. He didn't need to look up to see who this was. Calypso said nothing. Instead she seemed to take in the room and the things he has been working on. The waystation seemed to accept him fully now, since it allowed him to have his own workshop within its walls.

After staying silent for a while, Calypso finally spoke up: "Why do you hide your pain?"  
"What do you mean, Sunshine?" "That you are hurting after the loss of your friend, which is perfectly normal. But instead of opening up to your girlfriend and letting her help you dealing with this mess, your jokes have become even worse than usual."

"Aw, c'mon _mamacita,_ you love my fiery humour."  
"Don't call me _mamacita_. And don't try to change the subject by annoying me."  
"Hmpf." For once, Leo was at a loss of a witty reply. He also didn't feel like keeping up the funny act anymore. On the one hand Calypso has seen through it a long time ago. On the other hand, he has also been thinking about this for a while now. Thinking that maybe it was time to stop running away.

He decided to try this new option. "It's not unusual for demigods to die young. Our lives are constantly threatened by monsters and whatnot and going onto the occasional dangerous quest doesn't really foster longevity." Calypso kept silent. She only scooped closer to Leo, indicating that she was listening and for him to continue. And so he does.

"I keep on thinking… One of us seven was meant to die. I did, yes, but I came back. In a way, I tricked death. And so I keep thinking… Maybe because of that… I…"  
"You are afraid that you are responsible for Jason's death. That he kind of took you place, being the one amongst the seven to die."

Leo didn't answer. Instead tears finally started to trickle down his cheeks. Except for the moment when Piper told him about Jason's fate, he rarely (close to never) cried in front of others. But now he couldn't hold back anymore.

Calypso changed her position, now kneeling in front of him, cupping his face in her hands so that the locked eyes. Her normally annoyed look and pouty mouth was replaced with sympathy and a concerned frown. "Do you really think Jason would think like that? Do you really feel like he would pledge you guilty for his death?"

"No…"

"Do you regret coming back to life and helping me to get off my island?"

"Heck no…" He avoided her eyes for a moment. "As long as you don't regret it."

Calypso let out a sigh. During the time they spent trying to get back to the mortal world, she quickly caught up on the fact that behind Leo's cheerful yet sarcastic nature he hid a lot of pain. She decided just as quickly that she would do everything to help him heal on the inside. But it often is difficult to help someone who doesn't like to admit that he is hurt. That's why this conversation right now meant a lot to her. It meant that Leo started to really trust her.

"There are times when I find being mortal and having lost most of my powers quite annoying. But I never regretted leaving my prison. Nor do I regret being with you. I love you, Leo Valdez."

Said boy let out a shaky laugh. "That escalated quickly", he said, "What about the 'I still hate you' part?"  
"You know very well I was never serious about that!" Calypso crossed her arms. Now they were back to bickering, which was a relief somehow. The past few days Leo has ben unusually quiet. As if on clue his expression darkened again. "It's just, after my mother's death I never wanted to hurt someone close to me again. Never let them die because of me again."

"Feeling guilty for something you have never done is actually quite stupid. And you are not a stupid person, Leo. At least not always. You look for solutions, a way to make things better. Try to do the same for you." Having said this, Calypso stood up, offering a hand to her boyfriend which he took after a moment of hesitation. Now they stood eye to eye, nose to nose.

"Thank you." These words came from the bottom of Leo's heart. Instead of giving him a verbal answer, Calypso kissed him and then proceeded to hug him. And at exactly this moment, Leo broke down. He started sobbing, clinging to his love as he felt like he didn't have the strength to stand on his own anymore. She kept on holding him, occasionally kissing his forehead, nose and cheek. She gently caressed his curly hair.

For the first time since his mother died, Leo allowed himself to feel loved and save.


End file.
